By Helena Nista, WASC Member, Sexpert, and Tantra Practitioner
As a sex coach, one of the issues that my clients mention most often in my sessions is lack of sexual satisfaction. This is usually due to religious upbringing, wounds and blocks around sex, and deeply embedded shame and guilt around our erotic desires. I hear it from both men and women, from people in their 30s and people in their 70s.
Regardless of gender, age or background, we all crave intimacy that is connected, full of pleasure, and deeply satisfying. Yet we struggle to create that because the society we live in doesn’t support healthy sexual expression and doesn’t provide us with easily accessible sources of quality education and information about our eroticism.
Shame Interferes with Experiencing Sexual Bliss
I can truly relate to this struggle because for many years my own sexuality was strongly repressed. I carried many sexual wounds, shame, and guilt around my erotic pleasure, and as a result, I found it challenging to create an experience full of sensual bliss. I grew up in a religious household and from a very young age, I learned that nudity was wrong, sex was inappropriate, and that my genitalia were best left alone.
I guess it was this profound repression that finally pushed me beyond my edge and toward studying Tantra and sexuality. I was frustrated and at the depth of my heart, I knew that there was more to sex than genital friction. I was craving a deeply connected union, I wanted to orgasm easily and to experience blissful pleasure – not from time to time, but every time!
Everyone Can Transform Their Sex Lives
So, if you are experiencing frustration, discomfort, blocks or inhibitions in your sex life, please know that you’re not broken and that you can seek help. I have worked with men, women, and couples from all walks of life and I have seen amazing transformations in their relationships and their bedrooms. I have spoken to people who had lost all hope and people who thought that they were too old/young/wounded/broken/unwell to experience improvement. Yet I have never encountered a person I couldn’t help.
My Three Main Modalities for Healing Shame & Sexual Repression
In my sessions, I use a variety of tools and practices, depending on the needs of my clients, but mostly I draw on three modalities – somatic sexology, Tantra, and embodied counselling. These three approaches allow me to address a very wide range of issues in my clients’ lives, from painful sex to the inability to attract a suitable partner.
Somatic sexology allows me to empower my clients in the bedroom using tools and techniques that include working with the mind, the body, and the heart. This is particularly helpful in cases of pain, discomfort or numbness during sex, low libido, inhibitions around sex, sexual trauma, performance anxiety, being stuck in the head, etc. I help men get over porn addiction and create new habits in their lovemaking. I help women create more pleasure and sensitivity in their bodies in order to orgasm more easily and deeply.
Tantra and the principles of tantric sex allow me to teach men to last much longer and achieve sexual mastery. I also support women in deepening their feminine essence and in creating more heartfelt connection with their partners.
And finally, as an embodied counsellor, I help my clients recognize and overcome sexual trauma, past wounding, and toxic patterns in their relationships and sexuality.
How to Work with Me to Heal Your Own Sex Life
I am very passionate about my work and I offer my clients a variety of ways to work with me. My online courses are an easy and affordable way to take the first step toward sexual healing and education. I also offer events where deep transformation happens within a closed group of participants. And finally, each year I work closely with a small number of clients on a 1on1 basis. My coaching packages are highly customized and cater to exactly the kinds of issues my clients face. We start by exploring their current situation and then I design the best path toward achieving their sexual and relationship goals.
Having a supportive coach on your side is an extremely valuable way to move toward creating the love and sex life that you desire.
I truly believe that great sex is our birthright and it’s my pleasure and honor to support and guide my clients toward that goal. Please don’t hesitate to reach out and book an initial session with me in order to explore if my coaching packages are the right choice for you.
