By Rebecca Mattas, BA, CSC, World Association of Sex Coaches Certified Sex Coach
You may have heard lube is only for women, maybe even just older women, but I am here to tell you that lube is for everyone! Many men ask me numerous times a week, how can I last longer? Granted, there are many ways to last longer in bed without pills, but one question I ask men is, “How do you masturbate and how often?” Ninety-nine percent of the time men respond, “By using my hands and a few times a week.” I then ask, “Do you use lubrication?” and their response is “NO.”
I suggest to many clients to start using the lube of their choice with their masturbation practice. Using lube allows for a different sensation and makes it feel like a lubricated vagina. Just by adding lube, you will notice a huge difference when penetrating a vagina. Ultimately you will begin lasting longer if you practice masturbating with lube a few times a week.
I also suggest to male clients who normally masturbate lying down to try standing up, sitting, in the shower, etc. You may also want to touch other areas of your body, as well. Don’t forget your testicles, perineum, and anus.
One client, Ahmad*, stated, “I can’t believe the difference lubrication made for me. It was a game changer, not only did it feel great but it made it feel like the real thing.”
Another client, Ron*, said, “I can’t believe I have not been using lube. It feels great and after practicing the techniques you taught me, my girlfriend can tell that I have lasted a lot longer in bed and I have noticed, too.”
There are many types of lubrication and picking one out may feel overwhelming, but fear no more. Here is what you need to know to pick out a lubrication for men. Most drugstores and supermarkets have them and they can be found in the family planning section or near the feminine hygiene products. Your local sex toy shop should definitely carry them, as well, or you can purchase them online.
What is lubrication and what is it used for?
A lubricant typically is a substance that can be applied to various parts of the body to reduce friction. Lubricants, also referred to as “lube,” offer a solution for people who are not lubricated well enough or do not lubricate in any respect.
Lubricants operate by lowering the friction between body parts in the course of sexual pleasure. The absence of proper lubrication may lead to pain during intercourse, which frequently causes complications for sexual partners.
While lubricants can be used in the course of sexual activities with partners, it can also be useful for masturbation.
Types of Lubricants
Water Based Lubricants
Water-based lubricants are the most common lubricants. Although they do have a tendency to dry out, all you need to do is add more water or saliva to reactivate the lube. They are the most suitable type for various toys as well as condoms. Water-based lubricants are not suitable for sexual activities that involve water, like having intercourse in the shower, Jacuzzi, or swimming pool.
- Compatible with many condoms and sex toys
- Typically, cheap
- Doesn’t stain
- Very easy to clean
- Has a gentle natural feel
- It dries up fast
- Can also be sticky
- Not suitable for shower or other water activities
Silicone Based Lubricants
Silicone-cased lubricants are longer-lasting compared to other lubricants you may find. Silicone lubricants are great for anal play and anal sex since they do not dry out as easily. Many silicone-based lubes are hypoallergenic and safe to use with most condoms (excluding silicone-based condoms).
- Compatible with non-silicone sex toys
- Long-lasting lubricant
- Silky texture
- Great for anal exploration
- Typically, more expensive than water-based lube
- Hard to clean off, soap and water ought to be used to clean it
- Not well suited for silicone toys or Cyberskin sex toys
Oil Based Lubricants (Natural)
When people think of oils, they think of the ones that can be found in your kitchen, such as vegetable, avocado, olive, butter, and much more. Generally, if an oil is safe to eat, then it’s safe to put on your body. However, you may want to think twice since oil-based lubes can destroy latex condoms. Oil-based lubes are safe to use with condoms made from polyisoprene, nitrile, or polyurethane materials.
- Safe to eat
- Low cost
- Easily accessible
- Good for genital massage
- Destroys latex condoms
- Stains fabric
Oil Based Lubricants (Synthetic)
Synthetic oil-based lubes usually refer to petroleum-based products, such as Vaseline, body lotion, and mineral oil. Just like natural oil-based lubricants, synthetic oil-based lubes can result in breakage of a condom.
Examples of oil-based lubricants include:
- Slick feel
- Pleasant for external masturbation
- Highly slippery
- Hard to clean off, stains fabric
- Not suitable for condoms
Hybrid lubes are also known as “blends.” Hybrid lubes are made of two different bases, usually water and silicone.
- Last longer
- Benefits of a couple of lubricants in one
- Thicker than silicone-based lube
- Very simple to clean
- Condom-safe as long as there is no oil
- Not very effective for massage
- Not always compatible with silicone sex toys
Many people are looking for organic lubrication and many brands are making their lubes with natural ingredients. Many organic lubes do not contain glycerin or parabens. However, there is a downside to organic lubricants: They can break down latex condoms and most contain aloe or coconut, which can be irritating.
Things to Consider When Buying Lube
Sure, you could pretty much head to any store and collect some lube. However, if you grab whatever you see on the shelf, you run the danger of buying a lube that is sticky, reacts adversely on your body, or just does not feel good.
Most of the time, you’ll have no trouble with these ingredients, but a few substances have been found to annoy some people or even contribute to infections such as yeast infections.
Here are some ingredients to stay away from when selecting the proper lubricant for sensitive skin.
Although glycerin triggers a warming sensation when applied to the skin, it is also food for yeast because it contains sugar. As a result, lubes that contain glycerin change the PH in a female’s vagina, which can lead to yeast infections. If a female is sensitive down there, you may want to look for a lube that is glycerin free.
Menthol is mostly used for its cooling power; however, it can also be too drying, which can cause light tissues in the genital area to dry out. Some people may also feel a burning sensation if they are sensitive to menthol.
How to Use Lubrication
It is recommended to put a drop or two on the head of the penis. However, many men put lube on their hands or on the tip of the penis and on the top of the testicles. There is no right or wrong amount, I would suggest trying a few drops first but you can add more if needed.
Explore Your Options!
There are many lubricants to try and many sex toy shops give out small amounts of samples. Also, you can also request samples directly from the manufacturers, like Astroglide and Trojan. All you need to do is email them.
*Client names changed to protect their privacy.