by Marie-Claire Thauvette, World Association of Sex Coaches Allied Sexuality Professional
Pinch me, I am so happy I get to help men with erectile challenge–more commonly known as Erectile Dysfunction (ED)!
Erectile challenge can be such a big block in too many men’s lives. It is also affecting men at a younger age. As a matter of fact; 25% of men who have visited a clinic for erectile challenge are under the age of 40. Approximately 40% of men are affected at age 40 and approximately 70% are affected by age 70, with age being the strongest variable involved. There are approximately 617,715 new cases of erectile challenge annually.
There are many reasons why men are having issues with ED. 70% are physical issues, and the remainder are psychological. Often, the physical issues can become psychological issues.
What thoughts does Erectile Dysfunction conjure up for you?
Negative thoughts, right? I do NOT allow the term “dysfunction” in my sessions. Why? Dysfunction has such a negative connotation… How about letting go of despair and injecting hope?
I prefer the term Erectile Challenge (EC). Erectile challenge can affect men so much that there may be a physical issue, and it may become so front and center that this can happen again, so it does. Why? The fear of an erection promotes an inner dialogue that can look like this:
“How can I pleasure her without an erection? What if this happens again, then I won’t be able to receive pleasure?“
This is when it becomes a psychological issue – because it causes pressure. They are so worried about the issue, that the worrying becomes the reason for the erectile challenge issue. Just one episode that happened just because you were tired, stressed, or drank a little too much alcohol can cause erectile challenges and this can send your mind spinning…
“Is this going to happen again? How did it happen? Do I have a problem? Am I getting old?“
Where the mind goes, the body will follow. Have you ever heard that your brain is your biggest sex organ? This has never been more true than with these challenges.
Don’t allow pressure to kill pleasure.
One of my clients (I will call him Jonathan to protect his identity), told me his problem was so bad, that in his mind, he felt he lost his “manhood.”
How did Jonathan get his mojo back? Jonathan’s home play assignment was to focus more on pleasure.
He started changing his inner dialogue by focusing on what he was doing and feeling, instead of the fear of failure.
When his mind went to that dark place, he just went back to what he needed to focus on, feeling and offering pleasure again. Now, his soldier is standing at attention once again, because Jonathan learned to not let a “dysfunction” spin out of control. As a bonus, his wife mentioned that after lovemaking, she felt he was more attentive and she felt more love. That is a win-win.
